The Lighter Side of ISO Quality Standards

The Lighter Side of ISO Quality Standards
September 16, 2014 seouser
iso_quality-funnies

Updated ISO Glossary

  • ISORE – Eye strain from writing procedures and job tasks.
  • ISOAP – Detergent used to get everything in tip-top shape for audits.
  • ISO-SO – a ‘here nor there’ not very urgent non-conformance.
  • ISOCIAL – The bash thrown to celebrate passing your ISO audit.
  • ISODA – Drinks that are enjoyed at an isocial.
  • ISOB – Tears that come from getting one too many non-conformances in the audit.
  • ISOHAPPY – The pure happiness of conformity and improvement.
  • ISONO-NO – The mistakes and mishaps that result in a non-conformance.
  • ISORRY – The response that is often made when it comes to CAPA.
  • ISOMETRICS – How quality management steps are measured.
  • ISOLATION – The feeling that management often has when new systems are introduced.

Taking Responsibility for Quality

Once upon a time there were four people, who were named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. When an important job needed to be completed, Everybody was certain that Somebody was the one to get it done. Anybody could have gotten it done, but Nobody did. Somebody got upset, as it was supposed to be Everybody’s task. Everybody however assumed that Anybody could get it done, however Nobody knew that Everybody would not do it. Ultimately, Everybody put Somebody to blame, even though Nobody had done what Anybody could have been able to do. [This joke serves as an important lesson too we might add – never play the blame game when it comes to quality!]

Doing Quality Management Wrong

An American aerospace company and a Japanese automobile company had a boat race on a river. The teams had spent much time training and on the race day both were ready for victory. The Japanese team won by a mile however, leaving the American team low in morale. Top management was determined to find the reason for their defeat, and set up a continuous improvement team to investigate and recommend corrective action. This team determine that the Japanese team had 8 rowers and 1 person steering – the American team had 1 rower and 8 people steering. After hiring a consultant, the American team invested a great deal in studying the management structure, coming to the conclusion that there were too many steering racers and not enough rowing racers in their team. The next year, the team was ready to take on the Japanese team with a brand-new steering strategy. They had 4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, 1 Staff Steering Manager and an incentive programme for the rower in order to get him to rower faster and harder. The team leader was thrilled, telling the others that this move will certainly help them achieve their total quality management goals. When race day came about, the Japanese team won by two miles. The American team were humiliated. They fired the rower for poor performance, cancelled their investment for new equipment, sold off the paddles, stopped the building of a new boat and then divided the extra money from the savings they had made between senior execs. What is the moral of the story? Quality strategies are not always implemented the right way, and when they ultimately fail, it’s not always the workers who are to blame. Do you have any jokes that focus on quality management? We’d love to hear them – share your thoughts in the comments below.