Using a QMS to Ward off Zombie Attacks
It’s common knowledge that zombies are not great when it comes to calm negotiation, and any Walking Dead fan can also tell you that the undead are not too put off by obvious tactics such as doors, heights and cars. But how would things be if a quality management system was thrown together? Here are some ways that a good QMS might just be the ultimate weapon against zombie invasion…
It helps you organise your business processes and strategies, and it can help you organise your zombie survival strategies too. Document control will keep all of your plans and procedures in place, allowing survivors to access any given document easily through a central dashboard. Better still, remote accessibility allows survivors in other areas (like employees who worked from home on the day of the first attack) to stay updated too. You can create and store essential documents from this tool, such as zombie identification checklists, survivor roll-call, zombie bite procedures; safe zone list and even zombie watch rosters.
Mistakes can be all too disastrous, whether it is a corporate environment or the end of the world as we know it. In the work environment, mistakes are managed with corrective and preventative actions (CAPA). In zombie attacks, prevention is of course the best tactic to deal with potential mistakes. Even when dealing with mistakes that have already been made by employees, such as not spotting a bitten co-worker early enough, CAPA tools can make it easier to not let such mistakes happen again. Investigating the root causes of the mistake, determining the risk factor, evaluating what needs to be done to prevent future mistakes and working out a suitable consequence is a lot easier when done through an automated software tool after all.
Now that you have your zombie procedures in place, and you have determined a way to handle errors, you can begin assessing your employees with the help of competency testing software. What skills do they each possess that will make them competent zombie fighters? Are they up to date on procedures and processes? Do they show a high level of understanding of your goals? Are they able to perform their zombie busting tasks adequately, and if not, what training measures will be required? Depending on their core competence levels, you can apply pass or fail parameters to determine whether your zombie fighting army is ready to save the world. Hopefully, you will not ever have to put your quality management system to such a scary test – at the very least however, you can rest easy knowing that your business improvement strategies will not be as life-threatening to achieve.